Archive for personal


Posted in personal with tags on October 7, 2010 by artodisiac

gitsem dedi yaşarken

kalsam dedi ölürken

kapattım gözlerimi

kapanırken gözleri

önümü göremedim

yönümü seçemedim

peşinden gidemedim

ne halt edeceğimi bilemedim…



A collection of my collections

Posted in personal, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on December 22, 2009 by artodisiac

I like collecting things. I don’t know why but it all started when I went to watch a theater play when I was 13. It was a musical, an operetta in fact, named Meşhed-i İbad:) Well, I am not that old to know what it means but I remember that it was written by Uzeyir Hacibeyov in 1910.

I also vaguely recall that it was a humourous play ridiculing money-driven people from all casts.

It was a nice introduction for me to theater plays written and performed for grownups. I was really impressed from the play and bought the booklet of it for future reference and got lost in it. That day I decided to collect all the booklets of plays I watch. Now they are nearly 200 and I like to read them from time to time.

Together with the booklets, I also started to collect tickets. It was unintented though, one day I found out that I left the tickets of the plays I watched inside the booklets:) So that made my second collection. It isn’t limited with the plays now, tickets of concerts I have been to are also added to the collection.

Then came the LP period. When my uncle decided to get rid of his antique music box, I jumped on it. My rivals were far more older than I am but I did not let anyone to have the guts and attempt to take it. They must have thought that I was a real freak:)

People of my age, my sister for example, were collecting issues of girly magazines like Blue Jean, or trying to find out if the Milli Vanilli was real or not like perfectly normal youngsters while I was trying to find out the cheapest old bookstores (sahaf) where I can buy new LPs. I hate trendy things so I gave up collecting LPs for the time being until an ambiguous period. Now I am collecting old photographs, postcards and notebooks instead. The last time I went to Aslıhan Passage in İstiklal, where there are quite a number of sahafs, I found some notes from 1970s, where a girl wrote about the most important inventions of all times in her studybook. She wrote about the steam engine 40 years ago, about which we also had a lesson in our history of visual communication class  last week.

The same invention, different interpretations; this is what amazes me about the old stuff and one of the many reasons why I continue collecting old things although I have a fear of turning my house into a museum some day:) I will come back to this subject later on after a personal in-depth analysis of the reasons regarding my obsession to old stuff.

Who knows, this analysis may lead me to a new path in my thesis or in my life…

History of visual communication: a totally personal case study:)

Posted in personal with tags on December 12, 2009 by artodisiac

‘I am always doing what I can not, in order that I may learn how to do it.’ This motto of Pablo Picasso has always been my inspiration throughout my life. Besides, how can I know what I can’t without giving it a try. Whenever this thought starts to wander around my mind, I know that it’s time to follow what it says. And that is always what happened…

To give you an idea about the reason of this entry, I have to go back in time and tell you about some milestones of my life. My emotional path has nourished from various types of art, from literature to music. In my early 10s, reading became my favourite hobby. When I was around 15, a play called ‘Animal Farm’ presented by Ankara State Theater brought a different perspective to my life. I realized that a book I read could turn into a visual feast in creative hands.The sound and the effects together with the striking message given in a predictable yet subjective way made me even more impressed than the book itself. From then on, I had a feeling that visual arts could be the best media to express my feelings. Well, luckily I was born to a family appreciating all forms of art. Especially my grandpa was a talent, he used to write poems for every occasion (the first person who wrote a poem for me was him, and probably will be the last:)), take photographs of me and my sister with his pentax, playing accordion from time to time. His talents did not pass to my mom though. In fact neither my mom nor my dad is talented in any art form.

Being a pilot, my dad was mostly away for  work that time and my mom used to take us to preschool nursery everyday. That was the place my portfolio started to emerge:)

This was supposed to be our car..

I would rather eat this now, I guess I lost my talent:)

futuristic:) I must be the next leonardo predicting the flying cars a hundred years ago:)

not bad for a 4 year old:)

how capitalistic...

the great genious of maths..

hahaha, what an abstract:)

Well, a couple of years passed. I decided to leave my painting career at its peak and decided to express myself  in different media and started to learn how to read and write. I was a very well imitator of the cavemen but a bit faster than them in learning how to write. Everything started with an innocent line. If I knew it would later rule my world, I would be a bit more reluctant to learn:)

Oh, one thing to add, I was a left handed until that time. When I started writing, my teacher forced me to change it, I don’t know for what silly reason. It turned out to be handy though, now I can use both hands. But I’m not sure about my mixed up brain, can it be the reason underlying all my problems:))

first lines...

then sentences...

When I learned how to read and write properly, I started to better express myself. Whenever I was angry with someone, my mom for example, I started to write a letter

what a shame:)

and leave it on her bed. I had a diary and a book for my friends to write their best wishes for me:) Those were the times I was trying to discover what I like. I tried several signitures for example to find the right one, although I couldn’t succeed for a long time. I went to music courses and learned how to play organ, I sang with the children choir of TRT Ankara, played in theater plays at school. Nothing satisfied me as writing did. 

Then came the communication period. Since the best way to do it was writing for me, I started to write to my friends. When I started to learn English, I even found a pen friend from Singapore. We were exchanging cards, drawing sketches for eachother and sending the letters via post. Waiting for an answer was a problem of course. My youth had passed by waiting:))




I also tried to write poems, stories, etc. after primary school and got my first publication of a fictitious article when I was 14. This was also the first money I had earned from a work of mine:) Well, when I read it now, I find it quiet awful but for that time, I quess it was ok:)

Poetry started to take a huge place in my life that time as well. I wrote lots of acrostics to the teachers I liked (how embarrasing:)). It became my favourite technique so I started to write acrostics for everyone I know, I even wrote to the president Özal for example (which I am not proud of now) and Barış Manço that time (a beloved person for me as a child due to his programme I liked to watch and received a nice letter from him which made me extremely happy to get a reaction from someone famous…

that money turned into a levis 501 that time:)

the first published work of mine

every kind of social messages are given in poems, just consult me:)

Here comes the end of the first half of my history of visual communication. I hope to go on for the second part later on…

So, to be continued…